antler international

my new hero

I’ve read this little piece from Last Sunday’s NY Times at least five times now. The writing blows me away - I am struck by the grace and honesty Tim Kreider achieves without even once stooping to anything that resembles maudlin or story-milking…and the story is extremely milkable. Kreidler stays cool and aloof where others (me) would have gone into superflous and overdramatic detail.

The first paragraph starts perfectly:

Fourteen years ago I was stabbed in the throat. This is kind of a long story and it’s not the point of this essay. The point is that after my unsuccessful murder I wasn’t unhappy for an entire year.

I dare you to not click on the link below and read the rest of the piece after that beast of a first paragraph. What a perfect set-up. Genius H. Christ - the man is actually best known for his political cartooning and he can crank out this gold as well. I love and hate him at once.

I hope to someday be able to express myself with the clarity Mr. Kreider does and to write with that perfect combination of soul-searching, humor and doubt that makes the piece so moving and real.

I’d be willing to give up any toe for that kind of gift. Let me know if you know someone that can make this happen for me.

In the meantime…read it!

Man…he also wrote a beautiful essay on David Foster Wallace’s death that comes closer than any other article I read on the matter (and I read many) to verbalizing my complex feelings about the same issue.

bee on me

My mom often accused me of having a “lack of impulse control” and I am starting to realize that she was right about that. Once I had the idea in my head that I wanted a bee tattoo there was no stopping me. I guess this beekeeping thing is for keeps.

I had originally scheduled the tattooing for June 26th with one of those famous tattoo dudes who you can’t get an appointment with unless you know someone. I got introduced through a friend, but Mr. Tattoo acted like he was doing me a big favor fitting me into his schedule. That attitude plus the whole establishment having a distinctly dickish vibe made me decide to cancel.

Plus I wanted it sooner.

So I went and met Tom at Silver Lake Tattoo yesterday and he said he could fit me in “right now” as long as I didn’t pass out and make his 7:00 tattooee wait. I went for it. I only needed a short time out for wooziness and deep breathing.

Still a little bit blown away that I paid a man to wound me yesterday. At least the wound is in the shape of a bee and the man who did it has some serious skills.

good boy

Ran into this dog and his early 20’s, possibly-homeless owner in Hollywood. The dog’s name is Disco. I didn’t get the human’s name, since he wasn’t nearly as charming, but he was a good dog owner.

That thing with the bowl crushes me.

growing almost like a weed

News coming soon about something other than the veggie garden.

Please enjoy this eggplant blossom in the meantime.

the garden...last week

Apologies for the garden pic slackage. The squash continue to intimidate all of the other kids in the garden. They don’t play nice, but have proven to be delicious.

We also planted a fig tree in the yard last weekend. And when I say “we” I mean the husband. It was my idea, though.

garden of iniquity

The garden continues to go bezerkers. Though the growth may not seem as impressive as in previous weeks, there are fruits and flowers happening now. I keep hacking away at the squash leaves (front left) so that nearby shishitos and tomatoes can have a chance.

Your money shot:

update from the chaos

Things have gotten a little nutso here in Swiss Family Robinson world. A quick update:

• We now have 3(!) hives of bees. It turns out that the queen wasn’t dead after all. Long live her! Whole story on the bee blog.
• Speaking of, I’m going to get a bee tattoo and need illustration suggestions. Nothing anthropomorphized, please.
• I am spending a ton of time trying to be the cat whisperer and coaxing him out of hiding with stinky fish treats. He wants to be loved - I just know it.
• The dog still smells a little skunky.
• Both of our dads will be in town this weekend.
• Nobody has fucked with the wall, though our neighbors have started passive-aggressively placing their trash cans in front of it.
• And the garden continues to blow up.

the bionic garden

As you can see, the garden is blowing up. (I was just tempted to use a snarky “literally” in there in as in “the garden is literally blowing up like The Hindenberg”, but I was a tiny bit concerned that I might just sound like one of the morons I was mocking. I’ll just be the regular moron that I am).

The husband sprayed the leaves with some kind of plant crack and the garden vigorously responded. We had to have an emergency tomato stake mission yesterday!

Bonus catcam photo below. Isn’t he handsome? Please note the improved camera placement and set decoration. One of the many bonuses of living with a director.

and so it grows

Significant progress in a week, especially from the tomatoes and squash (near left). Go little plants go!

sowing the seeds of lunch

We planted a little garden. It started as a gift to the bees, but I’m pretty excited about it now.

I’m going to take a picture every Sunday so that we can all see it grow (or not). This one is from last Sunday. I will attempt more prompt posting in the future. Blame the owl for my tardiness.

For the record, we are growing:

• Tomatoes
• Japanese Eggplant
• Yellow Squash
• Watermelons
• Soybeans
• Hot Peppers
• and Shishito Peppers, my favorite

For the record, the bees are all confused and queen-less. We’re going to need to capture a rogue swarm, put them in the hive and pretty much start over. Good thing we got that honey when we could.